Category Archives: career

I got lied to, I got played. 
By my COMPANY, when I least expected it. 
The first time I ever asked for a raise 
My mom taught me to work hard to earn, 
And I worjed my ass off. 
AND I made a huge difference already.

It was scary but I asked for a raise, having two conversations, with confidence abd positivity 

They seemed to go so well, 
I felt valued, which made me shine abd more determined. 
The CEO agreed to give me a car abd a raise. 
I was blindsided when he not only offered less than my job offer, as he said he forgot that my current salary was a reduced probationary salary, 
But he got offe def when I asked for a raise again. 
He put me on the defensive, had me apologizing for saying I deserved it because I made a huge impact. 

This was clear manipulation, when I go over the replay in my head. 


Here are my take aways. 
I am not cut out to be manager. 
In order to turn things around, I must elevate my team before they will elevate their work. 
No one sustains forced productivity. 
Inspired productivity is infectious.

If I can't advocate for myself, I can't effectively advocate for my team. 
They need a strong leader who not only has their back, as I do,
But plays the silly manipulation games that I don't know how to.
That I don't respect. 
And I don't want to engage in. 

How can a leader, a human,
Be both honest, authentic, abd demonstrate integrity,
And make promises they don't deliver, and break their word? 
(They can't)
Undervalued, overworked
I feel like a used server he got at a clearance rate

Not only that, but in my one-on-ones with my team, they asked me to fight for them 
For training, for fair pay
I don't stand a chance here, 
He made a liar out of me and I can't lead that way. 


I am genuine, honest, straight-forward, and non-manipulative
Although the world has crushed me fir this, 
I actually admire this of myself
I don't respect manipulation and hands abd don't wish to engage in them 

The older I get, the more like high school life becomes. 
I was bullied on Friday, steamrolled by my leader.  
What did he hope would come of that? 

How so very silly that I got my heart broken by another company.