Nick had gone from understanding and supportive to cold, dismissive, and disloyal. He had gone from wanting me to move in and wanting me to be a life partner for months to throwing everything away in a week.
The part that kills me is he knew everything that had happened with me. He knew about how much ghosting and dismissive behavior hurts me, and he knew all about my attachment anxiety and fear of abandonment. I confided in him.fir everything.
And in the end, that is the path he chose to go.
It hurts me to my very fire that he would do this, but he is human. And it shows who he really is. There is not really any going back from using your worst fears someone confided in you, PROMISING not to ghost, and then doing it.
Goodbye Nick, that was pretty fucked up. I definitely have come out of this badly burned, and there was no reason it had to be so. My trust has taken major hits.
Alex says he doesn’t trust anyone. I am pretty sure he does trust me though. For protection of my heart, maybe I don’t trust anyone (other than people who have earned it over a long time)…. I don’t want to be plagued with panic attacks about trusting either. I had panic attacks about trusting Nick when I first met him, and he knows all about that as well. Hopefully I get to the point where I don’t trust and don’t want to do it’s all chill. 😉
Inspiration 