I was an iPhone user for years. I wanted an iPhone before android had a voice assistant like Siri. I finally got one and was very happy with it. Less and less happy, the more restrictive they became, and the more they lost hardware features like the 3.5 mm jack.
When I came to visit my mom in Hawaii when he was in hospice, I had started going to the beach every day after. It was medicine; therapy. I went snorkeling with my dad when he came down, and I went to put my phone far under the seat as usual. He said it wasn’t safe, and he put it into a “waterproof/leak-proof” box, and we got into the water. It leaked and destroyed that phone. He bought me a new one, sent it to Colorado. It was an iPhone 11 max. I think 🙂 It was the worst phone ever. They had gotten rid of the fingerprint reader, and the face scanner hardware broke within 2 weeks of my getting the phone. I wasn’t able to return it because I stayed in Hawaii much longer than planned, so it was way past the return period.
This started my journey to break free from the cult of Apple, in the words of my former friend, Matt. The more I tried to switch, the more I realized how hard they make it. If you have data in iCloud, you don’t own it. You own nothing. Your pictures, your meaningful messages, videos. They don’t let you export it or switch easily away from Apple. However, if you would like to switch from Android to Apple, well, there’s a simple app for that.
The harder it was to break free, the more I hated Apple. I finally got away and I will never go back. Not only that, I will disparage the brand for the rest of my life. Fuck Apple.
This is a lesson to myself. I have had an anxious attachment style from childhood. This isn’t my fault, however what I do and how I behave is my responsibility. I have lost very meaningful relationships by holding too tightly, terrified to let go. This has pushed people I will always love away.
I’m not saying that apple loves its customers :). They are a soulless, greedy, capatistic corporation like every single american company. No matter they mission, their stated values, they will cut your throat in the end to make a profit. But I digress….
I became okay with cutting people off last year. I have to find a way to be okay not holding on. I am a sweet, wonderful, generous, kind person. I believe in my heart if I learn not to hold on too tightly, most people would want to keep me in their life if they are lucky enough to gain my trust and love.
Nick is the first person I’ve been in a relationship with that breaks my dismissive anxious patter, by the way. It’s very healthy, amazing, and I feel very safe with him. I don’t worry he will push me away or abandon me. So I don’t feel like I need to hold on tightly, because I’m safe. That’s a wonderful feeling.
Inspiration 