My introduction into polyamory was wonderful, beautiful, and enamoring.
Met this wonderful, amazing man. On our 2nd date, he took me to a cat cafe to have tea and play with kittens. 😊
He said he was polyamorous. I didn't know exactly what that meant.
I've only ever done monogamy. My loyalty has never been questionable. In my marriage, I was miserable. My husband would never do exactly what I liked in bed, that was fine. But he stopped really touching me after a few years, and my love language is physical touch. I had asked for an open marriage, he said no. Basically, it felt like he wouldn't give me what I wanted, and I wasn't allowed to get it anywhere else. And he ended up cheating on me for almost a year, abd cancelling the car insurance I paid in full on a $35000 Subaru outback, leaving me funding out I was driving for a month without insurance during hail season. (What bothered me the most was the dishonesty and lack of integrity or consideration.)
I stayed so long for our kids and because I genuinely loved him. I've never had a problem with loyalty. I stayed far too long, only leaving after suffering with living with his selfish, manipulative ex wife did over a year.
I've always valued connection over all else, and my heart is so big. Romance mat come and go, but what stays for me is connection; which is why I get hurt if someone I care about cut off a connection when we broke up; even more so when I was ghosted by a best friend.
This weekend was beautiful. My boyfriend's husband came to Hawaii; he needed to take care of some legal paperwork. My boyfriend invited me to spend the weekend with them. I wasn't sure what to expect, I felt like I would have been intruding. Instead, we hung out all weekend, and he held me and cuddled me the whole time. Today we went out with his husband's family, him and his husband, abd he held me in front of all of them. It was an amazing feeling, true ethical non monogamy... He opened my eyes to something beautiful.
I am grateful my introduction to ethical non monogamy was such a good one, as I have heard stories of guys who cheat who say they are polyamorous. I gave learned (and always felt) that relationships if any kind are based on trust. If someone cheats, lies, or hides a relationship, it is a break of trust, and a disservice to all involved. It is very unfortunate that in my experience, the blame of this situation gets put on the "other woman", etc, instead of the cheater.
This was not the case. I have only ever experienced monogamy, and I am fully capable of it, however, having experienced this way of connection, it feels like a much better fit for me.
😍
Inspiration 