It’s easy aspie for me to connect to almost anyone, but hard as a brick for them to connect to me. I have a natural talent for it and gave become really good at it, to the point it’s automatic. Especially if someone needs support or healing.
But my first date with someone new I was lucky enough to find a very kind hearted person that I’ve been spending time with. He’s only here for slightly more than a month but he feels very safe, and that is the type of person that I need right now, during the initial healing process.
Trying to connect to a person I adore, who just moved back, but simply said one thing and did not follow through was maddening. Especially since he’s going through so much, he could use a friend like me, but he just is stuck in loneliness, unwilling to accept support.
Hmm, seeing it in this perspective, yeah I was there about 2 months ago. When my mom died, and I was lost. Crying every day, lonely but people were reaching out. I was at the point where I was just too scared to trust anyone, or even try, because Matt had caused my worst fear of my life become realized.
People were reaching out to me but it felt overwhelming and I felt paralyzed to respond. I hope it’s not the same for this long time friend, but I can’t assume so because that’s only guessing or projecting. Lately though, he’s just sent random, infrequent sad pictures or short messages, like he’s hurting it lonely. And then when I respond he’s hiding. At least in my perception.
I wonder if anyone who was trying to support me back then felt that way? Reflections ….
Inspiration 